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Dealing with Holiday Stress and Grief

The holidays are supposed to be a happy time of the year. We have time off, we get to see our families, our kids are excited about this magical time of the year, etc. But for many people the holidays only mean stress, anxiety, and grief. If you have lost a loved one, you may be experiencing this grief already. I call it holiday grief. It is most prevalent if you have lost someone in the past year, but it can stay with us year after year after year. We don't realize what an impact it makes on our ability to be happy when we are still holding on to grief. So here are some ways you can manage your grief, or if you are not grieving, managing your stress during the holidays.

First of all, acknowledge that you are grieving. No one can tell you how long you are allowed to grieve. However, when grief impedes your ability to function in the present, then it needs to be addressed. When you are experiencing depression, anxiety, anger, (all the things that go along with grief, but are so intense they block out any other feelings), then they probably need to be dealt with appropriately. Grief affects people in different ways and that is mostly due to our belief system. If you believe that there is a place where that person has gone that is good, comforting, and freeing, then you will probably handle your grief in a more positive way. But if you either have no beliefs about what happens when we die, or your beliefs are negative in some way, then you might be feeling some emotions that really impact your own life. You may be feeling guilt over being the one that survived, or you may feel that you did not get to say all the things you would have liked to say to that person, or because you don't have a belief about where they are, you may be feeling lost or afraid for them. I have said before that belief is a powerful thing and the absence of belief is still a belief. So, you may want to explore what you believe and if your beliefs don't work for you, you may want to explore what other people believe.

If you do have a belief system that is positive and hopeful for a place where there is peace, connectedness to (i.e. God, Source, Goddess, universal presence, Buddha) then there is a certain comfort that can be taken from that belief that will serve you during the holidays. Celebrating the life of the person that is no longer here may be a way to make the holidays feel more pleasant and inviting for everyone. Our society has a lot of social conventions around grieving and rules about how one should act when they grieve. You have to decide if that is what you want to do and if that feels right for you. Doing something that feels positive for you, but may cause some confusion for family or friends may be just the thing you need to help you feel better during the holidays. In the end, no one can tell you how to grieve! As long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone (or anything) else, you create the ritual, mind-set, belief that works for you.

Dealing with holiday rituals. Do you find yourself doing the same thing for the holidays every year and hating it? You really have to ask yourself why you do that and what would be the cost if you actually did something that made you happy for the holidays. I can hear you saying, but Mitzi, that is so selfish, what will the family think? If you are worried about family repercussions, feeling selfish, or ruining someone elses holiday then you are probably not having a happy holiday anyway and maybe it's time to help everyone be happy for the holidays by changing the way it's done. Sometimes the only way to manage holiday stress is to create a new holiday tradition. It may cause stress in the beginning with family and friends, but the potential joy for everyone, especially your immediate family could be immeasurable. Many people have found that the ability to create a new tradition with the people they truly love has changed the way the holidays feel for them. If people get upset, they were probably going to get upset anyway. We have to learn that we cannot please everyone, and we are not responsible for everyone elses thoughts and feelings. When we try to care take other people we invariably end up losing ourselves in the process. This brings us feelings of resentment, stress, and makes the holidays miserable. That old saying about don't keep doing the same thing and expect different results would definitely apply to this situation.

Creating new holiday rituals. If you have children, sit them down and talk to them about what they would like to do for the holidays. The greatest gift is to see the magic and wonder of the holidays through the eyes of a child. It may even get you back into the holiday spirit if you will take a moment and share that magic with them. If you are experiencing the holidays on your own, find something you enjoy doing and plan to do it during the holidays. Changing the way you think and feel about how the holidays are supposed to be celebrated will go a long way in helping you create a holiday that works for you. Stop trying to make the old ways work and find a new way. Maybe this holiday you go and help out at a homeless shelter. Maybe you can make a ritual of seeing the newest movie on the holiday. Maybe you drive to some place beautiful and take in a new environment. I could go on and on and on. You just have to give yourself permission to do things differently this year. And remember, you are no good to anyone if you are unhappy. It is better to say hey, I'm not coming over this year because I've decided to do something else, then to sit there and endure the holidays with friends or family. Believe me, people know when you are unhappy!

Finally, remember the "reason for the season". It is a time of thanksgiving. Being grateful for at least being here and breathing everyday. It is a time of renewal, anticipation of what is to come. It is a time to believe in something greater than yourself. Realizing that, if you believe it is so, you are not alone.

Have an amazing holiday season!

Much love and grace to you,

Mitzi
www.mitziwood.com

Cedar Fever

Why do I have allergies to Cedar pollen?

There are a lot of Cedar/Juniper trees

Pollen on a Cedar Tree

Cedar or Juniper is very common in the United States. About 70 species of Juniper exist and grow densely throughout our country and pollinate during the months of November through March/April.

The trees are trying to tell us something
Scientists studying Cedar allergies believe that one reason that more of us are succumbing to this pollen is because of the reaction of the tree to the stressors placed on it in the form of pollution and tough growing conditions (drought, flooding). These stressors signal danger to plants and trees and in response they pump up their toxicity during pollination season in order to survive. This author is very much aware (from the resulting sales of products) that this is happening with more varieties of trees, weeds and grasses than in the past. 

A growing number of humans and domestic animals have begun to succumb to the effects of pollen with moderate to severe respiratory symptoms even during times when pollen counts are not high.

Cedar pollen is in a class of its own
According to research published by The Journal of Immunology, Mountain Cedar pollen has been labeled a new class of pollen allergies are contributing to allergic disease. The affects of hypersensitivity to aeroallergen such as Mountain Cedar pollen has been labeled a new more sever class of pollen allergen.

Cedar pollen is unique as it has a special plant protein known as pathogenesis-related protein. This factor makes cedar pollen especially challenging for our bodies immune system.

Cedar pollen is also particularly spiny, looking a bit like a sticker burr in its microscopic form.

You are not alone
Allergies are becoming more prevalent, even in individuals that have never experienced an allergy. Some sources estimate that 1 out of 5 Americans suffer each year with allergies to airborne pollen.

Stress/Immune System or Heredity
We may never be able to know what makes one person more allergic than another to seasonal allergens but stress does seem to tax the optimum function of the immune system. 

Taking special care to keep your immune system functioning optimally could even bring you a step closer to keeping your allergies in check. Stress can be a big stressor on the body’s immune system. Proper sleep, food that is right for you, proper exercise and relaxation techniques and overall good wellness practices can help rebuild your immune system.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but your body appreciates every effort that you make to get to the goal.

Heredity is also recognized as a possible factor in allergy sensitivity. Understanding your family’s medical history and possible predispositions toward allergies may give you some good information to work with as you work to stay symptom free of allergens.

What are some options?
Allergy Shots – Must be done ahead of time and require considerable commitment of time, money and tolerance of weekly injections.
Over the Counter Medications – Used to control the multiple symptoms of allergies. Treat only symptoms of the illness, not the cause. Must be used for the duration of the season or seasons. Have side effects and are not natural.
Avoidance – Staying indoors for three – four months or washing your clothes, body and hair after each excursion out of doors during allergy season is impractical for many and impossible for individuals who work outside.

Cedar X®

Natural alternatives – Cedar X® is all natural, safe, has no side effects and takes only seconds to apply. It has a light fresh scent and lasts for 4 hours. It may be used only on the days when you are having cedar allergy symptoms, costs less than $23 and comes with a money back guarantee.

Ten Years in Wellness

IHI has become a dream come true for my daughter and I. This past year we have seen some amazing changes. We celebrated our tenth anniversary and moved into a new 7800sf. facility and we’ve welcomed eight new therapists into our practice. Our goal to become a premier resource for healing is becoming more of a reality. Thanks to our great staff and all of the therapists that office with us we truly can meet your individual healing needs, Mind, Body and Soul.  We invite you to find a healer, sample a product or take a class with us. We are here for You.